STUDY Day 18—Being Vulnerable

Being Vulnerable

One of the most difficult and impossible things for you to do is to be vulnerable.  Vulnerability is sharing openly whatever exists inside of you without filters that alter or change the expression of who you are.  To be vulnerable is to be the full expression of yourself in every moment.

Even when you are being vulnerable are you really?  What filter are you using to disguise the full expression of your emotions, your beliefs, your fears? The kicker is you are doing this to be safe, hiding parts of yourself, and the very thing you are using to be safe is the same thing that will take you out of safety. If you hide something you crave it. Craving creates an addictive response, an uncontrollable need, that left unchecked will break out at the most inappropriate times, exaggerated beyond our usual behavior.

Seems silly, you see vulnerability in others and you admire it, you blossom when someone shares themselves with you, allowing yourself to more fully express who you are.  In each moment the choice to be vulnerable is yours.  Yet there is a pressure, a resistance to this very simple experience, so much that in the moment it feels impossible.  If you practice this under safe conditions then in a moment of need you are more capable of being the full expression of yourself, being vulnerable when it seems the most difficult.

Exercise:

  • Choose someone who you have a good relationship with, who generally takes good care of your emotional needs and ask them to participate in this with you.
  • Keep in mind in this moment you are okay. One of our primary fears is that we will not be okay.
  • Set the stage to be okay, communicate your fear to the person you are doing this exercise with. “I am afraid you will laugh” or “I am afraid you will think less of me”.  Someone who cares about you will not purposely harm you and setting the stage helps make sure they will not accidentally or inadvertently harm you either.
  • Express an aspect of yourself you find you tend to hide.  You can start with something simple and work your way up to the more difficult ones.

Fear Keeps You from Being Vulnerable

In a difficult moment the fear of what may happen if you allow yourself to be vulnerable is often tougher on you than the reality. Your mind can not factually know what will happen, it can only speculate.  You start first with a look into the past at every snap shot of your life and every life you have ever witnessed.  You look at every conclusion you have ever made based on looking at the snap shots.  You calculate based on odds, variables, percentages, expectations, allowances, experience, exposure, repetition, and more the most likely outcome of the given situation. And yet you don’t go with that!  Instead you go with whatever supports your focus of fear. Have a good laugh at that one. The times you are not stopping yourself from being vulnerable based on fear you are vulnerable and life moves fluidly and you love your experience and yourself.