STUDY Day 19—Me Being Me

Hiding in Plain Sight

You have found ways to express yourself that effectively hide you in the same moment:

  • meeting your fashion needs while dressing to express who you want the world to see
  • posturing your body to be externally different than your internal feelings. ie. calm exterior, screaming interior
  • telling others how to get what they want while holding yourself from doing the same
  • putting your needs out there and waiting for others to fail you instead of giving them a heads up

“Kids Should be Seen and NOT Heard”

Remember that one? If you grew up with that one you may believe you can not ask for your needs to be met. Society grows and changes with platitudes that are wonderful and supportive of needs as a whole.  These perception shifts are temporary for communal growth and outdate themselves over time. Even if you didn’t personally grow up with this one someone who touches your life did and you are still under the energetics of it until you make a decision to release it and all other community vibrations.

The Best Parts of Me

The way your flip book of pictures in your subconscious was combined can make you unable or unwilling to fully express yourself in every moment.  Whatever we hide we crave, creating an imbalance that will show up somewhere as physical discomfort, confusion, neediness, feeling of lack, and over time self sabotage, disease, or self destruction.

You do not have to throw away every aspect of who you are on the outside that doesn’t match the inside. Being who you are is a free will choice, enjoy it.  Working with the parts of your life in this moment that do not serve you and or detract from your experience can be a plus. Becoming aware of the distance in a healthy way between the inside of who you are and the outside of who you portray you are can make it easier to enjoy your life. You may not be aware there is a difference or how it makes you feel. Some cues that show you the inside and outside are different are:

  • holding our breath throughout the day
  • looking down to make decisions
  • not responding even when you have an answer
  • the words you say in your head are not the same as what comes out of your mouth
  • you have thoughts that tear you or others down that you do not share
  • you wish and hope for an external action and wait to see if you are disappointed by the actions of others

My Life, My Choice

Remember you are the writer and orchestrator of this experience life.  You make choices to either share yourself or hide yourself. Approach this with observation and kindness for who you are.  You are a wonderful and amazing person who has often done their very best to meet the needs of an outside world that was confusing and unknown, attempting to meet the needs of others because of your great love for the world.

Do not force yourself to make any changes to your behavior that feels threatening or damaging. Feel free to make changes that feel freeing or make you feel alive again. Consult with your STUDY Leader or share with your STUDY Group if you have questions or need support regarding a possible change.

Hiding in Plain Sight