STUDY Day 42—Mirrors

One of the Primary Universal Laws is Everything is about me all the time. Because everything is about you all the time when you see something that catches your attention it is about you, when something bothers you, makes you happy, inspires longing or lust, it is always about you, the beliefs you accept and impose on yourself.

You are at the library and a child is tapping a pencil on the table. The noise is faint, repetitive, and yet it is drumming into your skull as if it were pounding. You motion to the child to stop and they do so briefly only to return to the tapping in a moment. The drumming pounding noise is more irritating once resumed. “Stop that,” you urge; the child stops with your insistence. Ah, the quiet is much better than the drumming, pounding, in your head of the tapping. You continue your work in peace unaware that the clock next to your head is loudly ticking. The clock goes on unheard, ignored.

Mirrors reflect an aspect of yourself. What you see in the reflection is about you and not the other person. The reflection reactions are self imposed and driven by a perception you choose, a belief you have created, a conclusion you accept, a judgement you have, a desire you want. The way a reflection changes you is through awareness to something in the reflection you want to see, be aware of, understand, or create. Every action you take, emotion you feel, experience you have is about you.

The Reflection

Direct mirrors can be experienced from a place of observation, adding an element of ease to your day. As they trigger certain responses you can be conditioned to ignore them, shifting from one belief to another holding the fight or flight sensations in place with socialized conditioning. The conscious will often resist strong acknowledgement of mirrors until a heightened level of fight or flight occurs. Because of this you may often feel unaware or caught of guard by your own behavior or reaction.

Pay attention to how you would experience the child with the pencil at the library. The tapping becomes more obvious based on your experiences. If someone in your life stopped you from making noise, if you maintain personal control to be quiet not to disturb others, a partner who taps to get your attention, a strict librarian who enforced quiet, you chose a library to work because you believe it is quiet, and so on you may have a stronger alert to the tapping than someone without these experiences.

Having a stronger alert to the tapping does not determine your reaction. The mirror reflects a combination of perception, belief, choice, and conclusion based on your experiences. Your reaction is reflective of you and how you combine parts of you, your equation. If you habitually handle noise by stopping it with aggression you may feel the need to stop the child from a place of aggression. If your habit and examples have always been experienced with kindness and compassion you may feel the need to ask gently for the noise to stop or you may not need it to stop at all. If you have been shown that sound is always melodic you may experience the beat as soothing and keeping tempo for you. You may use an opposite expression of what you experienced because you did not like what you went through, enjoying the bravery of someone making noise in a place that is said to be quiet.

If you carry a balance of responsibility that is not yours you may feel a strong need to control the situation to protect the belief that because the library is a quiet place a person making noise needs to be stopped. You may feel very uncomfortable as the person persists to break a rule that you know exists to govern behavior, feeling it is your responsibility to make people follow rules even when their behavior is not a burden to you. 

Direct mirrors can be simple. In your life if someone reacted to you adversely for making noise, being a distraction, entertaining yourself you may feel a need to create something in the moment when you see someone as the reflection of your behavior. If it was an adult controlling the situation and you were a child, now as an adult you may think it is necessary to control a child, teaching a child socialized rules so they belong. When faced with mirrors you may do many things that have nothing to do with you. This occurs because the conscious and intuition are separate. The subconscious connection can not complete it’s task of arranging snap shots to support the full expression of you, gathering only the stronger conscious experiences marked by stress hormones. 

Recognizing these moments are not the full expression of you empowers you to make change and become the reflection of your life you would like to experience. These mirrors bring awareness to your existence. The experience gives you the space to acknowledge you, help you see the need to release a block placed to hold energy unnecessarily, realize the desire for a place where you are free from self imposed burdens that are not real, the freedom to be you, and allow for others to be themselves as well.

Working with Reflections

A reaction to a reflection may make you aware of a reality you want to embrace and move further into or show you a current reality you no longer need or want. A habitual reaction to a reflection may make you uncomfortable. This awareness can give you insight to create change, to choose a path that is less habitual, or strength to move in an unfamiliar direction. When you are habitual in every moment there is no thought. Contemplation is where the subconscious learns to arrange snap shots to support you and recognize mirrors that will give you space to be the full expression of yourself, helping you drive yourself to be something you want from a place of health and wellness instead of pain and delusion.

If habitually you hold back and experience your emotions after a moment instead of in the moment you may find that the next time you see the same mirror this familiar reflection is now pushing you to a place of action instead of holding back. The mirror is how you recognize the moment where you want the change to occur. Letting go of or moving through a controlling belief, becoming the full expression of yourself in every moment will reduce your need for direct mirrors. Remember, you want these reflections. Reflections are your awareness to how constant or habitual adjustments move you away from what you want obscuring your ability to see what your needs are.

The Refraction

Refraction is defined as the change of direction of a ray of light, sound, heat, passing obliquely (neither perpendicular nor parallel to a given line or surface; slanting;sloping) from one medium (person) into another in which its wave velocity is different. Simplified: When you take the vibration of someone experiencing a mirror, their reaction to you, make their reaction about you instead of about them, and you take it in a personal direction of pain or distaste solely based on you believing they are reacting to you and you assign meaning to the reaction without any communication regarding their behavior you are making broad assumptions that what you see in their reaction is a judgement, response, or conclusion about you. This is mirror refraction, often a byproduct of mirror reflection when you are not aware that the persons reaction is to a mirror and not you. In the simplest of terms this is when you think you see something in a persons reaction to you and you feel hurt by it before you know why, creating the reason for it after the emotional response.

Mirror refraction can show you your own issues just as effectively as reflection can. The assumptions you make are about you and your fears. This happens when you are too far outside of yourself looking for information to be okay in life instead of inside knowing you are okay. Seeing how you experience this unreal fear can help you identify areas of fear in your life that need work or unpacking.

For instance, if a person were in a destructive relationship where someone hit them and you raise your voice or your hand they may feel fear even though you have never hit another human being. The person’s reaction is not relevant to your life experience. It is their mirror they are responding to not you. If you become offended believing they are afraid of you thinking of you as a person that would harm them this is about you. This is refraction. Refraction is often confusing and complicates situations, taking away space from the person seeing the reflection, making it impossible for them to move through this moment as they now need to take care of you and mend your issue, leaving theirs unresolved. You have made the other person’s behavior about you instead of supporting their awareness to their original mirror reflection. Because they are already off balance in their own past, making the moment about you takes them away from safety and moves them into self esteem issues where they take responsibility for things that are not theirs. When they take responsibility for hurting your feelings and apologize to you they are keeping you both in a negative aspect of ego that will not support the information being exchanged. They have supported your self victimization and now responsibility is outside of self instead of inside for how you see your world. Refraction is a false conclusion, a misunderstanding.

Not all refraction is done as pain. Another version is when you see love in places it does not exist, creating something bigger and more pleasant than is actually being experienced. Often when you believe someone’s love reaction to a mirror is specifically about you then you will foster feelings of intimacy to meet your perception even when you didn’t originally have inclination for those feelings. You will self create a day dream that energy does not support.

Indirect Mirrors are harder to see because they reflect complex understanding that you are currently controlling. Your conscious mind is attempting to obscure the view because you believe there is no way out of this belief. You may have accepted a belief that is in direct conflict with something you know to be true in order to meet the perceived needs of others.

Reduce Mirror Reflection/Refraction

When the child is tapping the pencil and you want to scream STOP! ask yourself where does this come from, why do you need for this noise to stop that has nothing to do with you? Often when you have a belief that control is to be used to change others it is because you have given control to others instead of your own needs in every moment. As children this is a learned behavior, part of socialization, making everything work. The people controlling you didn’t always consider your behavior before giving commands and you created beliefs about control that are unreal and unnecessary when communication is present. What if you asked the child why they were behaving this way instead of wanting to control them, what if you realized your reaction was because you were tired and over sensitive because of the fatigue? There are many alternatives opening you to awareness and putting you in a place to make healthy choices rather than the limit of controlling others to be okay in a given moment.

When you are reacting to a mirror in way you do not enjoy try these steps to reduce your reaction and move back into truth:

  • realize you are in flight or fight, aware that your reaction is not about this moment, rather the compilation of many moments and a perceived occurrence
  • reduce the physical reaction with breath work, deep diaphragmatic breaths
  • reduce mental reaction with counting or other conscious distraction while the subconscious completes it work
  • redirect mental paths with questioning, ask why this is painful, what is real, true, etc.
  • recognize trigger/belief supporting the need to experience this moment as undesirable, what do you want to be aware of

When you feel resistance to a mirror ask yourself:

  • am I having an issue with this mirror specifically
  • is this a response due to a preprogramed set of rules or restrictions I accepted (socialization) that I am now wanting to be free of
  • am I blindly meeting the needs of other and not myself
  • do I need to communicate for a greater understanding
  • am I filling in all the blanks myself creating something that does not exist outside of me
  • do I want to be free of a self imposed cage that is now undesired or unnecessary

When someone is reacting to a mirror they see in you:

  • remember you are always okay in every moment
  • you are not responsible for the behaviors of others
  • the way you live your life is your example
  • the only way to create change is to allow a person to choose to embrace a situation, belief, or experience

Refraction, making the direct mirror of others about you, occurs because you are outside of yourself looking for information instead of inside. To include others in this reflection and make it about them you can communicate your experience. If you fully hear the other persons response without attachment, judgement, creation, or conclusion you can successfully make this a double reflection. If you are needing the person to be swayed and see your side of “how they made you feel” you are still making the reflection about you and forcing them to meet your needs instead of their own. This will keep you both from moving into a successful experience.

Information Feedback on Mirrors, Lesson 42