Currently due to human conditioning we spend a lot of time in level one fight or flight, looking outside of ourselves for information so we can calculate change and occurrence of information on an universal level making it impossible to be in the moment.


How can I be aware of whether I am being compelled from balance or skewed from balance? When you think of what needs to be done how does it feel? Is it coming from obligation, righteous anger, fear of loss? Taking a moment to see the motivation and where it comes from can give you insight into your self expression and needs.

Without this resentment you wouldn’t want to move forward. I can use my judgment to bound me forward. Instead of moving blindly without light I can activate the obvious behaviors inside of my soul that would allow me to be independent from this activity, letting me see and be guided by my intuition to be what I am i every moment instead of what i could be if i stepped out of my own way.  If i let go of the guiding light i might not be able to see or feel the injustice-this could very well make things very uncomfortable.

If i hang on longer to the intuitive information than is necessary i could scare away the connection/information, leaving me feeling lonely and untamed.  without this information i would be a ghost and not capable

Whatever we hide we crave

We are feeling like we can’t have the things we want so we stop looking for them consciously, we set the thoughts aside and put our attention elsewhere trying to feel better instead of following what it is that was creating the feeling of want

Other aspects of underlying current

This current allows you to perceive the future in the present moment and experience the past.

Without this information you would not be capable of knowing how the room feels when you enter, which of the five senses to feel things from, how to operate or create without the interference of others,

Without this stabilizer, the underlying current, we would probably cease to exist as the limited/limitless formation of human, the Universal Conscious Mindfulness, completely connected without judment.

Light content is our ability to reflect the information back to outside of us. it is not the autonomic absorption that occurs on a cellular nature it is the indivisible attraction and reflection of the autonomic system that makes this possible.  without the reflection of this “information” we would be blind, def, and dumb to the identity of others. without this information we would not feel the truth.

We pull “my earth” into the physical body through the core of who we are, root chakra identity not physical makeup. we release into the upper atmosphere this divine information. Through creation we exist and destroy, atomic energy created and released momentarily creating the deeper drive, to give existence the relationship that does not exist without this information.


You sprain your ankle a bit and it is feeling pretty good the next morning when you get up from bed. You feel a slight discomfort and you reduce the amount of pressure you are putting on the leg. You remember that if you use a damaged muscle you can make it worse. The thing is when you reduce the regular use of a muscle you also reduce the health of a muscle. How are we suppose to know when something is good or bad for us, right or wrong, a benefit or a detriment? This is exactly how we are using our energy! instead of being able to make a choice and embody that choice we are in a constant struggle of manipulation, self push and pull, hearing and seeing things that are being applied in the wrong place at the wrong time and no longer able to function with our reality in tack.

We have talked a lot about fight or flight and how we spend so much time there.  Lets look a little more into the levels and where our conscious awareness goes while we are not working on us.

Our first level of existence energetically is inside. When we are incarnating into a physical body we are becoming “real” and adjusting to the outside. There is no difference in the beginning between the inside and the outside.  Over time we start to understand the chemical and electrical barriers that a body presents to our existence. We learn how to navigate in our environment, separating the internal from the external. We begin to recognize one vibration as different from another, to perceive lines that can be crossed. We give attention to things so they can exist differently than they do when they are without our attention and we give this experience a belief, a process, and a conclusion.

the autonomic nervous system for the physical regulates processes such as blood pressure, heart, breathing, digestion, metabolism, body temperature, fluids, elimination, emotional and sexual response. Over time we get in the way with free will decisions, forcing the unnatural control of these physical behaviors.

level of flight or fight is looking outside of ourselves. it is normal to spend time here. we are very relaxed, enjoying our day and we hear a noise or a movement catches our attention.

To practice feeling energy and to remember what it feels like to be in pure awareness or the beginning of observation you can try these exercises: practice feeling energy and pure awareness. Pure awareness is more advanced.


observation, feeling of being okay, anticipation excitement

active observation with comparison, feeling not okay BEFORE there is a reason not to be okay, anticipation as a negative.

add attention.  over time we have fears of making mistakes and we actually go out of order

THrough the next segemtn of the STUDY we will be learning to fine tune our wareness of self to the awareness of others without hte burden of obligating them to us or us to them.  it is this allowarnce that will disregard the injustice that has not purpotrated itself on us but us on ourselves.  we are here to exist in all space and timeleness is of our need

The belief “I can fail”

Compartmentalizing and separating is keeping us from the full expression of ourself. Holding back because of a belief instead of being the version of us we want to be.


What makes us divide our two parts and compartmentalize them as separate. We do the same thing in our relationship with meeting the needs of others or of ourselves. This separation between conscious and subconscious, between intuition and thought. Learning to balance these and seeing them as a whole unit instead of individualized items will be as complicated as learning to walk and talk. Be okay if you do not master this one in a few days or even a few years. We are all on the journey and getting there is where we find the real fun.

This is your first exposure to the web, details of your existence, interdependency of how things are created without effort.

Understanding that when people express what we consider to be negative emotions such as impatience, blame, anger, they are expressing their own fears takes us miles towards being able to be okay in every moment. Not knowing this one fact about humanity has created more unbalance than just about anything else. In the moment instead of the snap shot being about them, we made it about us, taking responsibility for things outside of ourselves that we have no control over. Without a need to control things outside of ourselves we fall back into balance of self and feel okay in every moment.

They were worried, impatient, aggressive, lovely, admiring, all expression is coming from a place of who they are and has nothing to do with us at all. Because they worried we would not have what we needed due to their own fears that they were somehow failing us, we took on the burden to meet their needs, perceptions, examples from a position off of center balance of self. We took it as we were failing them. Learning to see us as we are instead of how we fear we are is a very compassionate and loving gift that only we can give to ourselves. It will take time and understanding to be able to see yourselves in every moment as you truly are, releasing the tightened focus of attention, the death grip of judgment, the conscious release of conclusions when the snap shots seem to be telling us something different than we are experiencing. Be patient, kind, and loving as you work through these blocks and release yourself into a new place of freedom and free will.

You may realize some of your limiting factors are restrictions of a belief created from a place of unbalance. The self imposed restriction do not serve you or meet your need in a given moment. Check alignment with your truth give some method. Being the full expression of yourself is the only thing that will feel good in every moment. When you come up against a belief that is not meeting your need ask yourself:

  • why does it not seem to be meeting my need
  • what about this belief does meet my need in some way, keeping me in a specific place
  • what about this belief is effective
  • how can I experience this belief as enlightenment-being the full expression of me in every moment
  • where is this belief in the way of me being the full expression of me in every moment

Many beliefs stem from a previous belief or perception that have nothing to do with each other and get commingled and manipulated by the conscious mind and the subconscious rising up and misunderstood.

Sinister in Nature

When someone asks you for something and you feel uncomfortable or pressure that is about you. It tends to make us pull in and not see the other persons needs. Resist pulling in until after you see how they are working with their need. Watch what it is that they want without conclusions.

WHen the kids ask me for things that my parents said no to.

Owning Our Stuff

An action that can bring you to a place of less fear of being the full expression of yourself is to “own” who you are. What is it to be afraid to share your thoughts, dreams, desires, fears. Why is it so uncomfortable? For many of us not being who we are has become habitual. You are ignoring the subtle shifts inside of you that leads you to greatness in every moment, hiding behind the idea that without facade, this created persona, you are not accepted. The thing is by creating this persona and maintaining this facade you are moving away from center balance effectively creating the fact that you can not be accepted for who you are because no one knows who that is!

If you see where you allowed your self protection or belief that you can harm others stop you from being you

Your thoughts are in the foreground, screaming at you, waiting to be owned so you can stop this monkey mind, circular thought that is ever draining.  A few things that keeps you bringing the past into the present moment in a non-supportive way are:

  • self victimization. Believing that at any point you did not have control over your actions and that the choices you did make were somehow impossibly wrong.
  • confusion that lingers is due to a narrowed view of perception struggling to hold competing ideas apart from each other 
  • endless questioning as to whether we have done everything we should to control things
  • have I made the right choice
  • could I have made a mistake

realizing we are on a timeline of our choosing helps us to see we are not a victim and to feel our choice as complete.

Realizing no one outside of us in any way can make a decision, a motion, any judgment that can change us is also a healthy way to do this.  

I —— own my experienc

e of —— and my creation of ——   I am complete with these experiences.  I extract and library these experiences.  Then go to library and sign off on it.  Thank you for the experience.  

I —— command my energy to ——-

make sure to get back to safety being about changing perception and not about external information

When you choose to meet the needs of others out of generosity be keen to be aware that you are making a free will choice, doing it with free will, without regret or push and pull.  Perhaps, instead of settling for meeting the needs of others look for the win win.  Sometimes saying no is the win win putting responsibility back where it belongs. When we meet the needs of others at our own expense we are not helping anyone, ever.

Win win is not the same as compromise. The current energy behind most compromises is one of subjugation, giving up your need to hopefully get a return in some other way, instead of working until the win win is achieved. There is always a win win, finding it may feel impossible in the moment and once achieved feels like luxury. Win win is the result of being balanced in selfish and selfless at the same time in any given moment.


As kids your parents told you to put on your coat and it just wasn’t cold! Your body said you were fine until your parents taught you that some arbitrary temperature was too cold or too hot. Over time many of you have bought into the idea that the thermostat determines temperature.  This is an example of the conscious minds ability to over ride our needs, creating “thresholds” that control what we can and can not accept.  

Pick something in your life where conscious control may be over-riding what is body’s job: 

  • Food choices-asking body if it wants this.  Many of us assume because we liked something one day that we always like it. We override the taste in the moment
  • Liquid consumption (dehydrating because liquids are not readily available-try having an open cup of water in hands reach at all times)
  • Bathroom breaks (how we force our bodies to wait)
  • Digestion
  • Strength (people stopped us as kids because things were too heavy)
  • Stamina (idea that Asthma is self imposed)
  • Desire (social expectations of what we need)
  • Emotions (see emotions vs feelings- emotions conscious and feeling intuition)

Anything at all where your mind is now in control of body…and listen to your body.  Once we give body control back to body a large aspect of physical health improves.  



Consider this, here are two facts about who I am:

I do not lie.  I tell the truth because I prefer the way I feel when I tell the truth.
I protect my children.  I am a momma bear and when my cubs are in jeopardy I do whatever it takes to keep them safe.

Now add this situation…police have come to your door and are looking for your eldest child.  They are here to arrest your child based on accusations from a person you know well.  Supposedly your child stole their car and ran it off the road.  You know your child is in the back of the house.

Would you lie to keep your child safe?

Some of you may find this especially hard to work with.  If so I suggest you participate in the next Group Return to Observation, give it a go solo, or with a personal friend who you can share the experience with.


Pendulum swing explanation, add pendulum booklet

speaking geometrics to come, fractal patterning, reiki etc



Sounds hard to believe but the only emotion is love.  All other emotions are the absence of some part of the love vibration.  

Love flows freely through the entire body.  If we place a block in the body we no longer have the complete free flow of love and this new experience, the absence of part of the love vibration, is given a new name. This name is now the vibration of love minus component XYZ etc.

Fear is the distance we are from love.  It is also the absence of love.  The greater the feeling of fear the more we are focused on this absence.  If we draw into ourselves in these moments and start adding back in the components of love that are missing or blocked we become whole again with clear vision and the ability to move forward without fear 🙂

We have chosen to exist in our purest state of love all the time so to suffer without love is a choice we make through free will.  Fear paralyses us to give us a heads up to take a moment and unblock love so we can move forward in our whole being.  We use free will to over ride greater will and force ourselves to move forward without our embodiment of love that keeps us whole.   At any moment we can stop and change this.

The desire to diverge from the road ahead is also another sure sign that we are trying to move forward without our complete embodiment of love.  Looking for something to replace that balance often we choose a false comfort.  


Shifting attention opens up the boundaries of perception.  It gives us space to move instead of holding us in places we do not belong.  Shifting our perception outside of us to see the perception of others is perspective, it is seeing the perception of others through our own eyes, making it possible to have a more open perspective.  The fun part about mixing perspectives is the entire world changes for us with little effort.

to give life space to move around us instead of us holding things in place as they are.  When we surrender this happens….we fight an fight and fight and when we finally give in things shift quickly and dramatically often in a way that supports our need for change.  Fluid behavior supports this.  How do we become more fluid.-list of questions?  universal laws?


Socialization has created a need to prioritize perceptions.  Take this list and put it in order of most important to least for you.

has everything to do with being socialized.  What attention item will get me what I want faster? We start in observation, we see all things, we know all things, then we move into selections.  In this moment what gets our needs met. Depending on the socialized behavior of those responsible for us we develop behaviors and beliefs that support a perception.

Part three Comprehension, Part four Application, Part five Understanding

Later we will work on communicating our perception in a way that meets our needs.


The reason we feel the need to have judgment, attachment, or conclusions about who they are is because we are considering taking responsibility (creating a co-dependent relationship) for them instead of letting them be responsible for themselves.

Why do we believe co-dependent relationships are what we want?  We start off that way, completely dependent on our parents.  We receive love and give love in a co-dependent way, becoming socialized to understand and communicate as a group.  Over time we are to learn responsibility for ourselves and our action and allow for others to be responsible as well.  Here is where we lost something, moving into relationships as co-dependent and not as individuals living communially.

Perception is experienced on a microcosm level.  It is used to define OUR reality for us.  It is a shortcut to communicating large complicated concepts.  It is wrapped in layer after layer until this tiny thing that was simple is now complicated

We are different. No one is any better or worse than the next individual. We are as individuals journeying focused on different aspects of the macrocosm concepts with even more individualized aspects of the microcosm experience.


toss a bunch of beliefs out and have people prioritize them and see how the order and importance of the belief also effects their perception and reaction to the belief.


When we share our perception we are stepping into a place of vulnerability.  When someone reacts in an unfavorable way to our perception we tend to respond as if we were knocked off balance.  To better represent ourselves when we are sharing our perception we can keep these steps in mind:

  • I am not responsible for the behavior of others.  Everyone is in control of themselves.
  • I am responsible for all of my behavior.  Only I control me.
  • If Iam overly controled with my response out of fear
  • disproportionate to our sharing, often called over reaction, we can make an assumption
  • If someone is in a state of reaction that is unexpected or exaggerated in regards to my sharing, often called over reacting, I can slow down and see what it is they are experiencing without taking the reaction internally and making it about me.
  • way in relationship to what we are sharing we can


Compare two points of view to change a perception.

  •  Look at your belief that is painful.  
  •  Look for a belief that is similar and not painful.  
  •  Take the feeling from the non painful belief and overlap the painful belief.
  •   What do you use to defend or explain the painful belief when compared to the non painful one?  



Pick someone you love and care about and look at what bothers you about them

Pick someone you barely know or do not care about and look at what bothers you about them

List the things about you both that are the same.

look back at the list of what bothers you ask yourself why are they acting like that.  For instance if you somoen is loud and bothers you then ask why are they loud.  Think about specific times they were loud.  What were they trying to accomplish in the moment?  Now ask yourself if this were a child between the ages of 6-8 behaving this way what direction would you take to understand them?

Most of us have very habitual behaviors ingrained when it comes to taking care of external irritations.


We are never alone.  Part of the fear we fill is the fear of isolation or abandonment, the way we could be left with nothing we could do to change the situation at hand.  There is always a way out.  You may not like the way it looks because of fear, which again means you left this moment.  In this moment everything is okay, no one has left yet, you are okay.  Once they walk out the door they are not here.  You are okay.  In this moment they are not here and you are okay.  What makes us not okay is everything we are doing to compile the past to predict the future.  We have no idea how things are going to turn out.  The pain is because we fear the outcome before it has occured, we fear what this means to us and our lives, we fear what it predicts about our lives.  In this moment I am okay, and in this moment what do I want to create for the next moment.  If I have no attachment I can not create anything painful.

Think of something you fear and then think of how your being afraid is the very thing that is creating your fear in your life. Example: I am afraid my partner is cheating on me.  it is not the factual aspect of this that exists it is the fearful belief that exists.  what happens if your partner is cheating on you?  Fear-I will lose them, either you kick them out or they choose another.  If you have this fear, that you will lose your partner in some way that is already being created by you and you are losing them.

Attention of our perception creates our reality.  If we move into fear, giving a possible existence our attention we are then creating that reality.  Through attention we are holding ourselves in place.  Whew, now that you know your fears are existing we can get on with the action of moving past this moment into what we actually want instead of what we fear we don’t want.

Because of this behavior of using the past to predict the future, being in a place where you are armed you can not be in this moment in observation.  If you are not in observation you are also not in active listening and you will not hear the person in front of you.  You will hear what you anticipate them to express verses what they are actually expressing.  Even when they say something wonderful and supportive you will pull from it your fear and hear your fear supported.  In the moment you will not recognize this.  Recall when you have been the reciever of this behavior and you tell the person they are not hearing what you are saying.  Nothing they can say or do can bring you out of it, I am looking at the past and predicting what they are saying means.  I am not activuely listening.  I am out of the moment.

In the end after we break down all aspects of vulnerability what we are left with is we are using the past to predict the future.  If we drop this one behavior we would move through our lives in ease in a state of vulnerability all the time, with ease, completely fulfilled in sharing the full expression of ourselves in every moment.


Our belief that nothing changes also holds it in place.  If a person is told they never change the subconscious then makes an effort to live up to that expectation.  Even if they had started to be different this belief effectively holds them in place with our attention to them not changing.


If something is painful and appears to not be changing we are holding energy.  All things are changing all the time. Energy flows from one thing to the next so change is inevitable and unavoidable.  Each time something new is added to a situation or an experience it changes.  Putting our attention on an aspect of something changes our perception of it. When we get “stuck” in a place that does not seem to move try a few of these simple steps:

  • Consider is it possible that what you are needing to see already exists.
  • When something seems to be staying the same, slow down, back up, and ask yourself what is different.  Asking opens the mind to search for what is different.  Assuming everything is the same closes the mind and anchors you in the past.

If I stop being me to express what I believe others need I can be in the way of the natural progression of my energetics.  I can:

  • throw off  synchronicity.  Synchronicity is most effective when I am in the full expression of myself, it requires me to be me.
  • If I am holding my emotions to protect “the delicate sensibilities of others” I can block the natural release
  • if I have made it a habit to hold back parts of myself I will feel unable to move through things.
  • I will appear indecisive



Knowing that delusion is not real, dealing with fear to be ourselves in the moment, It can feel like torture to break the mind.  We call this “Ripping”.  It literally feels like your thoughts are being ripped in half, torn from your mind as if…